Archive for the 'offbeat' Category

11
Jan

US Amendment for Animal Suffrage

Just recently in this new decade animal voting has become a concern for animal rights activists. The U.S. Presidential election could have been swayed to a third party given the chance of uninformed voters such as pets, stray critters, and zoo friends. The first start towards advancing suffrage for animals would be readily available identification cards. Collar I.D.s and neck tags have become popular as well as microchips, but none of these can be used at ballot booths.

A controversial aspect of this is measuring the intelligence of various species. The IQ test is skewed with cultural bias toward homosapiens. Yet no other cognitive aptitude has met the success of this pressing issue. Some extremists are insisting on amoeba and bacteria representation for elections and voting events of the government. It is about time someone has stepped to the plate to discuss these matters. The mass media has stifled this movement for years and it is finally getting press in local independent and DIY newspapers, magazines, and articles.

It’s about time elephants and donkeys actually have access to their voice in how things are run. Keep an eye on your nearest king of the jungle about the US amendment to instate animal suffrage.

08
Nov

passed futurism

talk about furutism…

The artistic movement “futurism” is past tense.
I was thinking of this painting (can’t remember artist or title) of a (wheel?) in motion.

There are things not seen with the naked eye but with photography and film we’ve been able to “slow things down” (not literally of course).

And “flying rod” exobiological theory. They’re essentially rods that fly….*you can only see them on slowed down camera footage*

There was something I thought of about the reasoning of the people that want to believe in flying rods that is similar to the ideals of futurism. Perhaps both parties (the flying rodders and the futurists) are nostalgic for the future?

video documentation

22
Jul

Human Milk Farm

what do baby pigs drink? pig milk.
what do baby ducks drink? duck milk.
what do baby cows drink? cow milk.

Should we drink homosapien milk? But are we not babies?

A natural same-species milk would require a new sector of jobs where women or even men would work on a lactation plantation. Digress from the future; back in time the Aztec women used their breast milk as a weapon against conquistadors.

Husband comes home from a long day, “Man I could use a glass of warm fresh milk.” Wife asserts disgustedly, “You think you’re the only one that works around here? That’s it. You’re cut off”. “Honey please? I’m thirsty.”

How about fortifying human milk with protein hormone rHGH instead of rBGH (human growth hormone/bovine growth hormone)?

Go organic and obtain the highest quality by altering diets of the milked humans to obtain a better milk quality. Only grain-fed human milk will be allowed.

May contain milk warning?

13
Mar

Talk is Cost-Effective

If you multiply
the times you said something,
I will divide
the times I heard them.

Shop for the correct words while super-marketing. The cheapness of speaking is not stifled by inflation. Ready for the lips to close? You will be dismayed to hear quotation marks in their place. Roaring airs will spout from sealed mouths like a leaky valve. Sewage. Spewage. For the sake of Pete, put a leash on that clich-(eh).

Seminars on who to tell, why to tell, tell you how, tell you now, tell you what, tell you when. Rent the hotels to speak about meeting speakers who rent the hotels that meet renters who speak about hotels that speak meters of rent for speaking about hotels that meet rent for speech. Put some lipstick where your money goes. Talk is cost-effective.

10
Mar

Pass the Herpes, Jessica Alba

Being an expert on genital herpes, I know for a fact that experts know a lot about Herpes Simplex.

300px-jessica_alba_comiccon.JPG

Unfortunately that’s as far as it goes. Some adoring Alba fans are in mass hysteria with the alleged news of outbreak heaven known as Herpes. An insider had to fill Valtrex prescriptions for her supposedly. And even though nobody can confirm anything, they’ll place the cause on Derek Jeter. Then it snowballs with everyone who slept with everyone.

The reality is pretty scarring. Taking into consideration the entire US (not just celebrities), 1 in 4 people have an STD. So people who pass off others as sluts or whatever need to realize that about 25% are just as slutty according to your criteria. HSV2 (Herpes of the genitalia) is almost as common.

Is this a turn off to Jessica’s fanbase? L.A. Rag Mag points out that plenty of other perfect body beauties have blemishes on their intimate areas, but it doesn’t detract much of their approval rating. I’d be interested if someone did some dirty research and wrote a sociological book about the subject of STDs of famous people and how others perceive and react. Is there a higher standard for them? A lower standard? Does the perception differ from ordinary people?

13
Jan

Teach Yourself Child Abuse

In a constantly-changing world, new abusive technologies exist that haven’t existed yet. I say that the best way to move forward and prepare our children is to abuse them, abuse themselves, and give them the abuse necessary to exist in the future. And here’s how… Abuse them through daily situations. Physical abuse lets kids manage pain that can either kill them or make them stronger. Verbal abuse is another viable choice, allowing children to understand the value of their words as they get harshly scolded. Psychological abuse teaches children to cope wisely. These abuses certainly can teach children the value of existence while being fun too!

You can find out more by interviewing foster children, jailed parents, and the passive peeping Toms and Tamaras. In no way to I condone the reciprocal inverse of one of the ten commandments. Thou shalt obey thy mother and father => Thou shalt disobey thy son and daughter. But a more serious question: Can a middle aged man be a victim of child abuse? Can his father or mother misuse him? After all, abuse is to use wrongly. Can Child Protective Services get involved? And is there a way to use a child correctly to counter abuse?

28
Dec

Color of Racism (It’s Not Blue)

The man who makes fun of you is making fun of himself. Just like you, he’s a person. Why should your fingerprints matter? The world is too imbecilic to count with fingers. Some discriminate themselves by sitting in the roped off section. Others prohibit the use of bleach. It’s not wrong to be proud of what you are but it’s not right to say you’re better than anyone else. We don’t get to decide where we come from; you could have been a different race or marathon. I don’t think you would hate your own kind because they just are.


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The color of racism is no color I want to be. All the rest of the crayon box is fine. Just don’t pick up the color of racism.

This feller in the youtube vid is a blue/grey man who lives his life with minimal social engagements from colloidal silver. At first glance, this man looks like he’s stuck in a black and white 1920 movie. He sort of manufactured his condition non-genetically, but he won’t be able to claim affirmative action or employ minority advantages. He’s just a smurf-colored human. He has a right to feel uncomfortable if he so wishes, but being treated ill because of it is a sh*tpie in the face.

20
Dec

Aggravation (a Kore*us)

There are times when I sink to the bottom, times I am torn to pieces, more broken than shards of glass. Infuriating disgust and rage overcoming, the sudden urges must be held back. Let time heal my emotive fallacies. Allow it. I am not so petty, so thin. I won’t let me back in there. I mentally bash my mind–attack the source.

But of course my aggravation only calms me down. Because life is a lyric.

a living gave without contradiction
things nonfiction blurr
hearts are nails
only one today
the Exist blurr
life can
worlds are of words

PS. This brings a new rewinder to beatniks

18
Dec

Rhinoderma

By my interests and work in so many other directions–in literature, journalism, education, philanthropy, and religion–which had been testified to by so many notable people on this occasion, I hoped to prove that I was not a mere faddist, who could be led away by a chimerical fantasy. I wanted the world to understand that I was a clear-brained, commonsense woman of the world, whose views were as worthy of credence as her work in other directions had been worthy of acceptance. Today brought so much joy to me that there was little wonder I was able to conclude my birthday poem “Rhinoderma” with the lines:

I’m a tadpole inside of a pouch.
My body is getting tired so I lie on the couch.
My brother trips on a white rock and says “ouch”
But I pay no attn because he’s a grouch.

It suddenly comes to me- where I’m at
In my father’s mouth is where we sat.
He protected me in my habitat
From the camel, the duck, + the bat.

It’s been 3 wks + I feel like a frog.
My dad spits me out + I land on a log.
Hooray I’m no longer a poliwog.
Oh No! I’ve been eaten by a groundhog.

I see myself in little pieces
But it’s alright cuz I count the breezes.
Through it all my blood, it freezes.
Trouble and pain turn into eases.

11
Nov

Sexual Womyn are Carnivorous

You think men are the hunters, heh? Well did you ever realize that sexually active women are devouring sausage via their penis fly traps? The real meat eaters have been the phemail race, not as gatherers as evolution/anthropology/culture studies suggest. Reverting to venus fly traps… They live on meat. Does PETA wish for the extinction of such plants? I hope not. It just shows that eating animals is a common occurrence that is found naturally. Chowing down on chicken is an organic endeavor. If you can’t stand the killing, then don’t eat it. Steakhouses should have a slaughterhouse upstairs that is audible from the dining area. If you feel queasy hearing your meal screaming, then you should order something else. If you don’t mind eating an animal if it is put to death humanely, then please order the ribeye. Think of it as recycling. Instead of burying the bovines, it gets used as food for the hungry.