Tag Archives: diets

Human Milk Farm

what do baby pigs drink? pig milk.
what do baby ducks drink? duck milk.
what do baby cows drink? cow milk.

Should we drink homosapien milk? But are we not babies?

A natural same-species milk would require a new sector of jobs where women or even men would work on a lactation plantation. Digress from the future; back in time the Aztec women used their breast milk as a weapon against conquistadors.

Husband comes home from a long day, “Man I could use a glass of warm fresh milk.” Wife asserts disgustedly, “You think you’re the only one that works around here? That’s it. You’re cut off”. “Honey please? I’m thirsty.”

How about fortifying human milk with protein hormone rHGH instead of rBGH (human growth hormone/bovine growth hormone)?

Go organic and obtain the highest quality by altering diets of the milked humans to obtain a better milk quality. Only grain-fed human milk will be allowed.

May contain milk warning?

A College Diet

Sugar Free or Sugar Slave? Well I’m not a hyperactive gal so I must be fairly free. Every day this semester, college seems like it’s taking me nowhere except to some place that seems like nowhere. Regardless of classes I’m taking, teachers I’m learning from, and homework I’m doing, I feel like an obese learner. I’m a university couch potato. I actually do my work and study. Hit the books… with my face. But seriously- I am learning very little hearing an hour lecture every weekday on garbology. I need a student loan to loan me a four-year vacation. Don’t you love it when your Food Science and Nutrition instructor expands on global warming threats. And she doesn’t even relate it back to how it slow roasts food! Mmm, warm carrots. Simmering salmon. Wind-roasted apples. NO!?! None of it. There’s only a surcharge of $600 to sit through the class and escape with an acceptable lowfat grade. Watch your carbs and ask Weight Watchers to watch you wait.

So to all dying for some turkey, make your own recipe. It’s not that hard to make a turkey, unless you plan of giving birth to one. And yess. I had a fine Thanksgiving. Turkey Day was almost as good. Just ask Hulk Hogan if he’s heard of Atkins. It is documented that diets do work, but will power loses to keep it off. It becomes progressively harder to lose more weight because your body fights to maintain its set point. Think of it as an equilibrium where your chemistry tells you what is best. For some it’s 350 lbs. Others: 600 kilos. What if we just gave hypothyroid medication to overweight people? Too many people suffer from Dietbetes. Dieting is not such a great idea in itself. Exercise and have smaller meals instead of 2 or 3 big ones. Dieting causes obesity to stay a problem. And it’s not anyone’s fault. Diets are made to be broken. (Cue the Goo Goo Dolls’ “Iris” song). Moderation is a better word and tactic. Digressing into compromise–Everyone is on a diet. I’m on the “eat what you feel like and prefer the healthier stuff” diet. My portions and number of meals vary. That’s OK. I’m skinny, but not concerned about how many pounds I own. I’m more concerned about my breasts, my heart, my brain. Ward off heart disease. Coronary arteries would not enjoy a disease.