I’m not a grammar Nazi, but I thought this was funny and educational “in one fell swoop.”
Necessary use of quotes include
– demarcating speech: “Yo Dawg,” said Rover.
– sarcasm or ironic references, often said with intonation or with the help of air quotes.
– Use–mention, noting the word itself rather than concept or meaning: “Uke” may have originated as a shortened form of “ukelele.”
– Titles: I repeatedly listened to the Beach Boys’ “I Just Wasn’t Made for These Times” 12 times.
Other times they are used for emphasizing words, when more accurately underlining, italicizing, highlighting, or even circling may be less ambiguous to the intentions.
I’ll let you wear my “clean” clothes.
This could imply you are lending not-so-clean clothes. Or that “clean” has a different meaning than expected. Think about the importance of a place that has “AIDS free” needles! Hah.
second hand smoke
sugar substitutes / artificial sweeteners
butter vs. margarine
Use of these products may be hazardous to your health.
These could all be bad for you, your health, your body, your life. Did I forget the harder stuff? Meth isn’t so great. Everything kills you slowly. Diet soda isn’t better than regular soda. You may have an excuse if your diabetic, maybe.
Aspartame doesn’t seem to have a good track record. Saccharin, while not crazy dangerous, used to have a cancer warning. It has been studied more closely and such a problem was not concluded by peer review.
The thing to ponder today is why there is concern. Most studies are inconclusive about long term damages. This shouldn’t make you automatically conclude they will make you drop dead. On the other token, you shouldn’t classify anything as safe just because the FDA or a bunch of Ph. D’s give an OK. Everything is relative. Moderation is key, but sometimes a few drops or a sprinkle is the spark for a fire. Everyone has a vice and I am sick of seeing hostility for a drunkard when the accuser is a coffee junkie. Or a chain smoker who speaks ill of “Made from sugar, so it tastes like sugar” products. Or a drug lord who complains of second hand smoke. You don’t eat 6000 calories in one sitting like your obese neighbor; instead you sit in your chair watching 18 straight hours of television nagging your mother to find batteries for the remote. Huffing spray paint isn’t your game either. You prefer to fight people in and out of the ring.
Their dislike may be justified, but they fail to realize what they do could be just as deserving of flak. GRRR. Do we need any more reminders that we are imperfect? Make yourself feel better by telling yourself that you are in the better position. You don’t do illegal drugs; you just take Adderall for a disease you think you have. I call it Self-fulfilling ADD Pseudoprophecy. Time to increase the dose- you’re not feeling sedated enough.
things probably aren’t interesting enough when you sell your body and you feel like an inanimate toy being used by a john just as dirty as yourself. Prostitution is not a crime-
in France. It is under fire but nothing like the United States and illegal sex work. Whether it’s legal or not will not change that if you engage your privates incessantly that you’ll get bored and desensitized. All those nerve endings will diminish the pleasure from over usage. You have to be an expert chef to make the same dish taste good with the same ingredients 10 meals a day over and over. Even then there’s a threshold. It’s all economics from there. Value goes down after the demand has been provided. The supply is one. Eat a donut and you’d pay an arbitrary price. After eating 5 donuts, you probably won’t want to pay as much. Sooner or later you won’t want to pay for the 12th ring of sugared pastry.
If you are a bored slut, try a new recipe:
– 2 days of Ragdoll blues
– Sewer scented security
– 3 day old newspaper
– one loch of hair
Make believe you are a woodpecker carving your initials in the dam of a beaver’s house. Realize you have wings to fly away, but that you have made a cage of wooden tears. Your tree pays you in leaves and you see the leaves as independence, so you don’t leave the cage. Wrap your loch of hair in the newspaper and proceed to ignite the rolled newspaper. Inhale the musty smoke and saran rap the sewers as a preventative measure against rulers and contracts. Better yet and worse later- learn how to saran rap at your local MC showdown. Live life as if it you had to yield crops from your field.
Safer cigs- they don’t exist. No risk, no mouth, no smokes. It’s all nicotine and tar from here. Read up on the marketing mumbo jumbo of safer cigarettes and its history. Pretty interesante if I might say. Anything that is smoke that goes to your lungs isn’t supposed to be there and probably has a risk of being bad for you. If the earth wanted us to breathe smoke, she’d set us all on fire. Quitting is the best way to erase your chances of smoking-caused cancer. You could try all day to get less cancer, but all is gambling when poking around in casinos. Try a smokeless* carbon cigarette anyway.
Not all cancer is caused by smoke (or even second hand). Carcinogens are created when you barbecue your steak (the char), at your campfire (burning wood), and almost everywhere even when a fire is not present. Eliminating risk of cancer can be achieved by ceasing to be; not my suggested option.
The life of a rock is fascinating. Think of salt- sodium chloride. Salt is the only rock that is people willingly eat. It has to get refined to be used safely for human consumption, but it is a rock. It’s life helps us add flavor to food, to retard spoiling of food, and with a little help of iodine drizzled on your salt, you can prevent nasty cretinism and goiter. The rock life is one that can roll without the help of Elvis. Think about the greats like Bob Dylan who pays homage to the stone in his most popular metaphoric song “Like a Rolling Stone.” The Rolling Stones even had to give themselves a sturdy name so they could get some respect in the music biz. Resorting to bold measures, truck companies once longed to be “Like a Rock.”
Rocks are special. They have collectors, movers, sellers, miners, and many other friends. With so few enemies, who wouldn’t want to live the rock life. Sure, you might get thrown, or crushed, but you always have a purpose. You are there being a rock for as long as you can. How legendary is that?
The nephilim (the offspring of demons and human girls) have taken over searchers who are searching for some site called coolkids.com, but there is no such site with any information of use. Unfortunately, there are some small sacrifices that need to be made to find what you need. There are no more girls on myspace, no more cooloutkids, no more mysteries to solve. There might be a video that has exceeded bandwidth and a domain that will expire though.
Cool down and turn off your TV show. The show hasn’t started yet about those wicked angels. Everything can be found if you use the search button right here. Let us end the conspiracy and get back to business and fun.
Move over Paris Hilton, Hillary Clinton is in the spotlight for showing more than her collarbones.
I don’t even have words for this?! And this has nothing to do with politics. I don’t care if she is Ronald Reagan, this is just ridiculous. I am more appalled at those who actually were staring long enough to see something. Maybe the still photo doesn’t do justice, but there is little to see and much to be imagined. This is not controversial. Cleavage is not going to make or break foreign relations or stop world hunger. In actuality, she is probably getting more and better publicity now that there are no issues to debate, just a pair of middle aged titties getting less than a square inch of light. Shame on you perverts for liking it so much.
Since we are the bride of Christ, men and women and mixed-genderoids (as opposed to the derogatory hermies; gender barely exists anyway) are required by Jewish and Catholic law to wear wedding dresses. The day of destiny calls upon all saints to dress in fine linens (Ex 28:5). We are also the children of God. There is no specific verse, but I’d imagine that wearing diapers and bibs are optional. We are also called God’s sheep. Unless you live in a cool place, wool is not required dress code to enter the pearly gates. In our daily lives, God wishes we wear clothing that is not made from sacrifices to idols. No meat or fleshy t-shirts. No pigeon sandals given up to Tiamat.
The most important thing to think about is that ye not molest and lest thou shalt produceth others to stumbling. In modern English, this translates to not be a hindrance for others to fall. I beseech male and female alike to not wear such attire that will lead anyone to stumble. Contemporary wedding dresses and the like are not suitable for a God-loving follower of Christ Jesus. It is a sin to wear long robes and pants that drag against the floor. This is a clear stumbling block as people will be obstructed from a free flowing pathway to righteousness. Loose threads that could form a trip wire are not to be tolerated. The holiest of all outfits is to tithe your entire wardrobe to the Lord and be stripped of your pride. In heaven, we will have no need for material clothing. When Jesus was born, he had no clothes to call his own. He was wrapped by a blanket of light until he was given an old rag. We will one day shine for the glorious Kingdom. But Jesus does not want us for sunbeams. Sunbeams are one of the weakest lights in the vast universe. There are thousands of brighter stars than the sun anyway. He wants us to use His flashlight in the parking lot of existence. He does not desire that we blind people in the eyes. He hopes that we shine things on the road for people to walk upon.
Like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we should be nude and bare. People should not have an urgency to conceal the bodily gift God has given. Hiding behind leaves is a sign of sinful behavior. Before the first Man and Woman disobeyed, they were pure in organic form. We are destined to be that way as soon as we commit our earthly life to God and shed our sins that we try to hide with clothing.
Be grateful you have an eye to see with I have been a bit on edge about my vision worsening and having trouble using my contact lenses. My one eye has been getting red and I’ve been to the eye doctor and I’ll need to wait another week or so to see how things are going. I have some drops that I’m using and hoping that I’ll be back to normal. There is so much to be grateful for in many aspects of our lives. Nobody is at the bottom of all lists. There is no one who is last at everything. Nobody is on top of it all either and we shouldn’t get so focused on ourselves.