Tag Archives: hookah

Things I want for Christmas

Santa, family, friends, me, or anyone listening can give this grateful creature:
-a new spine
-care from others; sincerity
-unexpensive gifts that come from dreams
-companionship and ability to express myself intimately
-insight into unfinished business of mine
-genius ideas
-family turmoil resolution
-lump of coal (for my hookah), peppermint flavored
-an eased spirit
-ability to cook food that tastes good
-competency and uncommon sense

And for New Years, I hope to not hear of a single “Resolution.” I will not be having any. They are poor excuses for weak-willed individuals. N.Y.R.’s are asking to be broken. I’d rather just commit to doing what I want without going overboard. For some, it will be holding off on getting laid so often. Others will lay off the chocolate. Not me. I just won’t have my favorite dark chocolate as much as I have been the past week. It is my crutch that I don’t need. Methinks I’m rambling. Go ahead with New Years Resolutions, just don’t make them in order to break them. Set achievable goals and pick yourself up if you fall. The steps of a baby is the pace of a slow but determined winner. Today my goal is to eat dinner instead of eating chocolate candy bars.

I’d like to fulfill someone else’s wishes if it can be done with an empty bank account. I can’t make my secret getaway right now as a broke gal, so I’ll settle for staring at pictures of it online.

As much as I like meat…

I don’t think there is any value in wearing it, except for fur. Hats of meat go beyond moderation and give steak lovers a bad name. People could be eating those sausage links, the ground beef, the pork chops. Stinky hats just asking to be called a grease-head and a swarm of insects sounds like no party to me. Just a bad idea if you ask me or even if you don’t ask me.

I’m so appalled that I need to propose a new invention. You know those beer helmets used by crazed football fans for hands-free guzzling?


Well how about the hookah hat with the same design. Secure a chamber for the coals so you don’t burn yourself, then harness it and use the tube like you would the beer holder helmet. Instead of drinking, you’ll be hitting the shisha in a convenient way that your frat brothers will envy (or others for that matter). Now this might sound silly, but it’s ingenious compared to a meathat.