Tag Archives: definitions

eternal reccurrence in the blind spot

How does that quote from Fight Club go? Someone loved this dress very much and then discarded it like a christmas tree, like a condom someone loved it- very passionately- and then discarded it. Vicious cycle? Recycle? Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors? Stagnating in alliteration. Children hunted in the shadow of monamine oxidase. Diffuse past the synapse never to fill a receptor. Metabolized. We seek ananda!

One-time pad, message received, agents destroy pad, all language operates in a similar fashion to a code.

When it Began

I’m going to start by revealing how I got started here. I’ve never kept an actual diary before. I like to write things down, partly because I can look back at myself and the other part is I can keep track of my thoughts. Instead of displaying my activities on myspace, I wanted to make my own site. The vision I had was I could have complete strangers read and be read without the worry of being invited or accepted based on criteria of your profile. It doesn’t matter here. I have a myspace, but I get sick of the guys messaging me with inappropriate material. In other words- being rude and invasive and making me feel uncomfortable. Plus there is some bad news that myspace was invented on a spam marketing scheme. No wonder all those bulletins are just more advertisements. I can understand advertising to keep the site in business, but half a page of ads? I had to delete my account because it got hacked and sent porn links to my friends. Now I only touch myspace with a stick to keep in touch with friends. It’s pretty hard to type with a stick though.

Anyway, back on topic. So I had a plan, now I needed to execute it. What should I call it? I had a few names that I liked.

  • eyeslikesparks.com
  • brokenself.com
  • myrah.com
  • drypond.com
  • dreamself.com
  • hightime.com
  • runawaywind.com

A few of those were taken already. I wanted something short, but I couldn’t find the perfect name. I became desperate. I was searching for the wackiest site names. I found out that FreePMS.com is available, but that’s not what I wanted to make my site into. Eventually I thought of the word complex and how even the word “complex” has several complicated meanings. It can be a chemical compound, psychological abnormality, or a nexus of intricate parts that is hard to explain. I thought all definitions applied to my objective to some degree. The name also has a double interpretation grammatically. It can mean…

  • Verb: Complex me. As a command, saying “Confuse me,” or make me think.
  • Adjective: Complex me. As a description of me being hard to understand or being composed of a series of impulses, emotions, or molecules.

Before I was able to make my own website, I found a guy who does web design. Ironically, I found his site when looking for relevant happenings in my town, and we have some of the same interests. So I asked if he could help set up the technical stuff for me. He registered my website name for me and put up a wordpress blog for me. Then he added a few theme templates that were free to use and he ended up not charging for his time. And my site is working just how I want it!