Amazing grace… was blind but now I see; in pinhole. Side effects may include limited view, darkness, obstruction of details,,, but it is the claimed natural way to improve nearsightedness.
Side note: people should start using comma-ellipsis [,,,] to compliment the normal dot-dot-dot […]. Pinhole glasses look cool, but are they approved for driving? And do they help block extraneous sun glare? I’d like to try some for fun. I never knew they existed. I could probably make my own or find a sheet of equidistant tiny holes and look through it while walking or using the computer. That’s it! I’ll wrap it around my head so I can create the whole perforation experience. Pinhole hearing, pinhole smell, and I would dread pinhole taste. The only foods that can pass through are liquid goop for the toothless. I could even get a pinhole tan. Spotted sexiness.
Last comment on eyes and tie to bovines: They should be eaten to put out their misery. There’s nothing worse than a blind cow suffering from “fetus of the eye,” or “ocular nipple growth.”
If you are squeamish about bodily abnormalities please do not scroll any further.
I don’t think there is any value in wearing it, except for fur. Hats of meat go beyond moderation and give steak lovers a bad name. People could be eating those sausage links, the ground beef, the pork chops. Stinky hats just asking to be called a grease-head and a swarm of insects sounds like no party to me. Just a bad idea if you ask me or even if you don’t ask me.
I’m so appalled that I need to propose a new invention. You know those beer helmets used by crazed football fans for hands-free guzzling?
Well how about the hookah hat with the same design. Secure a chamber for the coals so you don’t burn yourself, then harness it and use the tube like you would the beer holder helmet. Instead of drinking, you’ll be hitting the shisha in a convenient way that your frat brothers will envy (or others for that matter). Now this might sound silly, but it’s ingenious compared to a meathat.
Going back to a topic I’ve already put some thought into, rawhide is a man’s best friend in the blistering sun. A new study came out recently that proves that animals have been eating other animals to survive. This 7 year finding observed animals from all continents to see if they would eat or starve. In almost all cases the animals consumed other animals and bugs even if they were given leafy desserts afterwards. Some stubborn animals refused to eat cooked meals, but the scientists managed to force feed lab rats to unsuspecting animals while sleeping or procreating. Beyond the studies, it has been found that plant-eaters, or derogatively known as herbivores, have a higher occurrence of constipation due to high fiber in the stools. They are the end of the food chain as they will be devoured by predators.
Us hippies prefer to save the earth and keep Mother Nature free from crop destroying plant killers. Think of all the oxygen we could gain and all the CO2 that would be swallowed by uneaten trees and shrubbery!?! We’d be one leap closer to a greener utopia where mother and child could suck the last morsel of meat off a rack of ribs. HERBal teas? Nah… We prefer Carnal Tea.
Protein is important for health and growth. And the protein that comes from an animal is guaranteed to be more kinetic due to the warmblooded-ness of many of your favorite foods. This extra energy emits a stronger action potential that has been correlated with fulfilling longevity. A little-known fact is that some vegetables and non-metazoan foods contain harmful Acrylamide, or Contratein (against protein) which can be found in potato chips, french fries, baked wheat products, and possibly fried greens and veggies. Acrylamide eats away protein antibodies that may lead to a higher incidence of pathogen-carriers such organic cancer (colloquially known as herbal organ intoxication) and carnophobia.
Please think the next time you order something from a fast food joint. Get that Big Mac without lettuce. Avoid raw leafy substances. Remember when they recalled spinach? They recalled it for a reason. It’s disgusting (without being covered in meat broth). Bugs and stupid small-brained animals resort to eating, sleeping on, and defecating on plants for leisure. Stay as far away as you can from plants and your mouth. Every plant has its germ. The chlorophyll and plant structure is designed to survive and one of its tactics is human sickness. It is nearly impossible to remove every bacteria and fungus from a plant. It requires temperatures hot enough to cremate the plant before microorganisms are totally abolished. After it has been sanitized, it no longer contains nutrients and the ashes have a bad aftertaste. Believe me, I’ve tried to mask the taste with cod liver oil and butter with no luck. Just say no to saying yes to plant food. You are not a hamster. You are a sausage king. Just don’t get too carried away and enter a hot dog competition.
I’m not a grammar Nazi, but I thought this was funny and educational “in one fell swoop.”
Necessary use of quotes include
– demarcating speech: “Yo Dawg,” said Rover.
– sarcasm or ironic references, often said with intonation or with the help of air quotes.
– Use–mention, noting the word itself rather than concept or meaning: “Uke” may have originated as a shortened form of “ukelele.”
– Titles: I repeatedly listened to the Beach Boys’ “I Just Wasn’t Made for These Times” 12 times.
Other times they are used for emphasizing words, when more accurately underlining, italicizing, highlighting, or even circling may be less ambiguous to the intentions.
I’ll let you wear my “clean” clothes.
This could imply you are lending not-so-clean clothes. Or that “clean” has a different meaning than expected. Think about the importance of a place that has “AIDS free” needles! Hah.
second hand smoke
sugar substitutes / artificial sweeteners
butter vs. margarine
Use of these products may be hazardous to your health.
These could all be bad for you, your health, your body, your life. Did I forget the harder stuff? Meth isn’t so great. Everything kills you slowly. Diet soda isn’t better than regular soda. You may have an excuse if your diabetic, maybe.
Aspartame doesn’t seem to have a good track record. Saccharin, while not crazy dangerous, used to have a cancer warning. It has been studied more closely and such a problem was not concluded by peer review.
The thing to ponder today is why there is concern. Most studies are inconclusive about long term damages. This shouldn’t make you automatically conclude they will make you drop dead. On the other token, you shouldn’t classify anything as safe just because the FDA or a bunch of Ph. D’s give an OK. Everything is relative. Moderation is key, but sometimes a few drops or a sprinkle is the spark for a fire. Everyone has a vice and I am sick of seeing hostility for a drunkard when the accuser is a coffee junkie. Or a chain smoker who speaks ill of “Made from sugar, so it tastes like sugar” products. Or a drug lord who complains of second hand smoke. You don’t eat 6000 calories in one sitting like your obese neighbor; instead you sit in your chair watching 18 straight hours of television nagging your mother to find batteries for the remote. Huffing spray paint isn’t your game either. You prefer to fight people in and out of the ring.
Their dislike may be justified, but they fail to realize what they do could be just as deserving of flak. GRRR. Do we need any more reminders that we are imperfect? Make yourself feel better by telling yourself that you are in the better position. You don’t do illegal drugs; you just take Adderall for a disease you think you have. I call it Self-fulfilling ADD Pseudoprophecy. Time to increase the dose- you’re not feeling sedated enough.
things probably aren’t interesting enough when you sell your body and you feel like an inanimate toy being used by a john just as dirty as yourself. Prostitution is not a crime-
in France. It is under fire but nothing like the United States and illegal sex work. Whether it’s legal or not will not change that if you engage your privates incessantly that you’ll get bored and desensitized. All those nerve endings will diminish the pleasure from over usage. You have to be an expert chef to make the same dish taste good with the same ingredients 10 meals a day over and over. Even then there’s a threshold. It’s all economics from there. Value goes down after the demand has been provided. The supply is one. Eat a donut and you’d pay an arbitrary price. After eating 5 donuts, you probably won’t want to pay as much. Sooner or later you won’t want to pay for the 12th ring of sugared pastry.
If you are a bored slut, try a new recipe:
– 2 days of Ragdoll blues
– Sewer scented security
– 3 day old newspaper
– one loch of hair
Make believe you are a woodpecker carving your initials in the dam of a beaver’s house. Realize you have wings to fly away, but that you have made a cage of wooden tears. Your tree pays you in leaves and you see the leaves as independence, so you don’t leave the cage. Wrap your loch of hair in the newspaper and proceed to ignite the rolled newspaper. Inhale the musty smoke and saran rap the sewers as a preventative measure against rulers and contracts. Better yet and worse later- learn how to saran rap at your local MC showdown. Live life as if it you had to yield crops from your field.
Safer cigs- they don’t exist. No risk, no mouth, no smokes. It’s all nicotine and tar from here. Read up on the marketing mumbo jumbo of safer cigarettes and its history. Pretty interesante if I might say. Anything that is smoke that goes to your lungs isn’t supposed to be there and probably has a risk of being bad for you. If the earth wanted us to breathe smoke, she’d set us all on fire. Quitting is the best way to erase your chances of smoking-caused cancer. You could try all day to get less cancer, but all is gambling when poking around in casinos. Try a smokeless* carbon cigarette anyway.
Not all cancer is caused by smoke (or even second hand). Carcinogens are created when you barbecue your steak (the char), at your campfire (burning wood), and almost everywhere even when a fire is not present. Eliminating risk of cancer can be achieved by ceasing to be; not my suggested option.
The life of a rock is fascinating. Think of salt- sodium chloride. Salt is the only rock that is people willingly eat. It has to get refined to be used safely for human consumption, but it is a rock. It’s life helps us add flavor to food, to retard spoiling of food, and with a little help of iodine drizzled on your salt, you can prevent nasty cretinism and goiter. The rock life is one that can roll without the help of Elvis. Think about the greats like Bob Dylan who pays homage to the stone in his most popular metaphoric song “Like a Rolling Stone.” The Rolling Stones even had to give themselves a sturdy name so they could get some respect in the music biz. Resorting to bold measures, truck companies once longed to be “Like a Rock.”
Rocks are special. They have collectors, movers, sellers, miners, and many other friends. With so few enemies, who wouldn’t want to live the rock life. Sure, you might get thrown, or crushed, but you always have a purpose. You are there being a rock for as long as you can. How legendary is that?
The nephilim (the offspring of demons and human girls) have taken over searchers who are searching for some site called coolkids.com, but there is no such site with any information of use. Unfortunately, there are some small sacrifices that need to be made to find what you need. There are no more girls on myspace, no more cooloutkids, no more mysteries to solve. There might be a video that has exceeded bandwidth and a domain that will expire though.
Cool down and turn off your TV show. The show hasn’t started yet about those wicked angels. Everything can be found if you use the search button right here. Let us end the conspiracy and get back to business and fun.
Move over Paris Hilton, Hillary Clinton is in the spotlight for showing more than her collarbones.
I don’t even have words for this?! And this has nothing to do with politics. I don’t care if she is Ronald Reagan, this is just ridiculous. I am more appalled at those who actually were staring long enough to see something. Maybe the still photo doesn’t do justice, but there is little to see and much to be imagined. This is not controversial. Cleavage is not going to make or break foreign relations or stop world hunger. In actuality, she is probably getting more and better publicity now that there are no issues to debate, just a pair of middle aged titties getting less than a square inch of light. Shame on you perverts for liking it so much.