Category Archives: offbeat

Harry Potter Spoilers

Harry Potter Spoiler

Check out this unreleased photo! This Harry Potter spoiler works with any vehicle produced on or after 2007. This is the latest spoiler that is the most controversial. Instead of reading the book, your car can now go 7 times as fast. Drive down the deathly hallows in style. Full text written on a rear spoiler will make your ride look way cool when you drive to Hogwartz– I mean to your friends’ house. No more spills or that oil leak your dad has been hassling you about. This magical spoiler cleans up after your automobile.

Addicted Vegan? Become a Carnivore!

Are those tofu hotdogs addicting? How about raw vegetables? Or salad? In Defeating the Raw Food Seduction, M.E.A.T. president Gail Incisors, M.D. presents the evidence that these seemingly innocent foods might actually have psychotropic brain effects that keep you coming back, despite the health risks.

An abundance of people have experienced addictions with digestive materials. Look at water. To some people, water is an occasional treat in order to stay alive. But for a true water addict, it is a impenetrable need.

If you are hooked on non-animal products, what do you do about it? Actually, meat is here to save you. If you start your day with a high-fat steak, hunger is less likely to fuel cravings. And if your lunch, dinner, and snacks include foods that include at least 40% meat- cold cuts, ribs, turkey, gravy, burgers, meatballs, meat juice, chicken broth- you’ll be less likely to indulge in unhealthy organic food.

Be sure to consume several pounds of beef a day, so that your appetite-taming hormone leptin is working overtime. Leptin shuts down whenever you go on a starvation diet, leaving you out of control and possibly with leprosy. Exercise, hunting, and fishing all help too, to create a meaty desire for chowing down.

And there’s nothing like taking a three-week break from fruit juices and natural garden grown foods. An all-fat, carnivorous diet avoids the worst of the nonliving foods. So remember, meat is not only a man’s food. It is for anyone who wishes to get the fittest they can to compound their muscles from the flesh of other beasts.

Pop my Pomegranate (Pt. 2)

Is having sex an accomplishment? Evolution. Survival of the sexiest… Overpopulation- Proof of oversexualization of society. Group sex, single sex, mutual sex. If sex was painful would we be extinct? FUCK! Literally. Sour cherries will no longer grow with virtual gratification. End suffering by having intercourse. Piss on yourself. This is no R. Kelly joke.

Paradise engineering will not make you happy. Life will not make you happy. Nothing makes you happy. And the most important things are nothing we get involved in. People are still buying and selling Viagra, buying and selling, buying and selling. The next stage is Libido Transplant surgery. There is nothing wrong with sex in itself though. It’s some people’s bottle of booze. I blame it on a subconscious erotic capital that goes undetected, yet is sold at inflated prices to undiscovered hedonists. Not all is bad though. If you think about it, if everyone is constantly humping their brains out, per capita crime rate drops to 0%.

And jobs… If you can look like a modest slut, you are hired. Straddle the line between revealing and reserved.

Nudist neighborhoods… Are they focused on getting laid or do they realize the natural condition of human body for what it is? I could almost picture them being more conservative, but that’s only a personal mirage I have. I’m only naked in the shower and in my dreams.

Preprogrammed Lust and Teenaged lussed

It’s hard to rid the desires of intimacy without engaging them. Some choose to do things they regret, others suffer, others have no problems- Yah right. Is lust a condition of humankind or is it just as fervent in the animal kingdom? Are we more likely to defy the institution of marriage because of its very existence. I haven’t done any studies, but I can’t really do anything but ponder it all. What wires people so strongly to jab a rod into someone’s canal? or stimulate a cavity. That’s all it is. Lots of pleasure reception in a localized area. Beings- do they have a pleasure addiction? Does Asceticism solve any problems or make people go crazier? I don’t have any answers. Telling you questions; Asking me lies. Obsession. Lack of control or just wanting to eat an entire box of chocolates? You never know what you’re gunna get, maybe a case of diarrhea’s evil cousin, gonorrhea. Don’t forget Siffy and her friends having lunch. No need to worry, it’ll never happen to you with an invincible sheet of rubber. The world is not going to end if you have children at age 14. There is risk in everything, even eating food you might get food poisoning (Digestively Transmitted Discomfort).

Maybe I’ll try to accumulate more thoughts that could manifest in a later write-up here.

through the i of a needle

Why are those that try to be skinny think the problem lies in food and its consumption? Any of these terms sound familiar?- ProAna, thinspo, thinspiration, pro-ana. Anna’s Place a fairly large internet community for anorexic sufferers. It has been criticized that it does not offer a healthy support since their is more encouragement than actual help of recover. Thinspo is promotional videos and pictures of ultra-tiny models and people to encourage people to stay away from food and lose weight.

There are many things that make them want to do this, and I don’t blame it all on Barbie dolls. It’s a more real thing of glamorizing skinny people and admiring actresses and celebrities and being careless about staying alive with as little food as possible. I understand they have problems and need help. But so do people starving in places like Africa and third-world coutries. I want to make a video of starving people who WANTED to eat. That would be true inspiration, true Pro Ana Awa (promote anorexia awareness).

It doesn’t matter if it’s a disease or a personal choice/addition. It is a problem. That needs a solution. If you can fit through the eye of a needle, then your brain is skinny too and you need to exercise your mind to make it grow. Think hard about what you are doing. Is it rational? Will it give you a long or fulfilling life? Food doesn’t make you fat. Think of people in the armed forces. They eat larger portions than general public because they are very active. They consume more calories and most are not overweight. Sure, some are burly or muscular, but that comes with the activity they do. Food makes you live until tomorrow. Fasts and diets are fine in moderation, but they are not a cure for anything.

This ain’t a female problem either. Males can have the same problem. And it’s not just themselves that are sick. It makes a lot of other people sick to see people seeing through distorted eyes.

eternal reccurrence in the blind spot

How does that quote from Fight Club go? Someone loved this dress very much and then discarded it like a christmas tree, like a condom someone loved it- very passionately- and then discarded it. Vicious cycle? Recycle? Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors? Stagnating in alliteration. Children hunted in the shadow of monamine oxidase. Diffuse past the synapse never to fill a receptor. Metabolized. We seek ananda!

One-time pad, message received, agents destroy pad, all language operates in a similar fashion to a code.

the origin of Home Run

Take me out to the ball game. I know the reason why the home run was invented, or at least why it’s called that. It all started in 1836 with a group of rambunctious folks in New England where the game using a ball and stick was growing and becoming known as baseball. In the condensed part of town, the had to find the most open area to play. These knickerbockers were out one day as usual, but there was a new player that came into town. He was the burly type you’d think could survive ten Great Depressions. In response to his powerful physique, the pitcher tossed him a swift throw. Legend has it that he was using a rusty pipe that cracked as he pounded the ball through a window of the mayor’s house. Well, he was forced to run, and run fast home. Most of the players spoke broken english, so they said “Home Run!” as they all scattered back to their houses. Nobody wanted to be responsible for that broken window.

13 Things I Wish Were True

Weirdness. After doing a few stupid things lately I’ve had a while to think. I wish that:

1. I had three eyes or 4D vision.
2. Meat grew on trees.
3. I had 2 brains or 2 hearts.
4. Life had an eraser.
5. Robots would replace child labor.
6. I could run on batteries.
7. I could see music.
8. Men got pregnant.
9. Breathing was optional.
10. There were more than 3 primary colors.
11. Inanimate objects could talk.
12. Bodies/teeth/hair cleaned themselves.
13. Dreams could really interact between people.

would you like fries with that?

Taking a shower is one of the things that keeps me going. The shower is in my Top 5 list of things that make a day perfect. The waters got to be the right temperature. I squeeze out just the right portion of conditioner. Then I lather up my soap in the loofah with enough consistency. It’s like a heaven that fish live in and people only get a taste of.

One thing that’s always puzzled me wherever I go; any shower I use, there’s a small thing that gets on my nerves. Why does the nozzle that you would use for a bath decide to spill a final remainder of water when I’m all done? Sometimes it runs off right away; other times theres a delay. Why can’t I save it for later? Whoever made the system is a jerk. Did he really think I was going to take a two-second bath, especially after I just took a ten-minute shower? It’s like the equally annoying phrase “Would you like fries with that?” -NO, I would not like fries. I already ordered fries dammit.