Category Archives: offbeat

recipe for bored slut

things probably aren’t interesting enough when you sell your body and you feel like an inanimate toy being used by a john just as dirty as yourself. Prostitution is not a crime-

in France. It is under fire but nothing like the United States and illegal sex work. Whether it’s legal or not will not change that if you engage your privates incessantly that you’ll get bored and desensitized. All those nerve endings will diminish the pleasure from over usage. You have to be an expert chef to make the same dish taste good with the same ingredients 10 meals a day over and over. Even then there’s a threshold. It’s all economics from there. Value goes down after the demand has been provided. The supply is one. Eat a donut and you’d pay an arbitrary price. After eating 5 donuts, you probably won’t want to pay as much. Sooner or later you won’t want to pay for the 12th ring of sugared pastry.

If you are a bored slut, try a new recipe:

– 2 days of Ragdoll blues
– Sewer scented security
– 3 day old newspaper
– one loch of hair

Make believe you are a woodpecker carving your initials in the dam of a beaver’s house. Realize you have wings to fly away, but that you have made a cage of wooden tears. Your tree pays you in leaves and you see the leaves as independence, so you don’t leave the cage. Wrap your loch of hair in the newspaper and proceed to ignite the rolled newspaper. Inhale the musty smoke and saran rap the sewers as a preventative measure against rulers and contracts. Better yet and worse later- learn how to saran rap at your local MC showdown. Live life as if it you had to yield crops from your field.

Miracle Weight Loss with Acupuncture

Staple your ear and lose those pounds. Do not try this at home. A professional ear stapler has the certification from Staples to help you shed those buckets of fat. These staples aren’t found in the stationary section. They’ve been sanitized and may be a little bit thinner than industrial staples. Obesity is solved forever with the curb your appetite sudo-science. The reasoning behind this is the acupuncture points are associated with different parts of the body. In your ear resides the associated area for weight control and metabolism via the thyroid. While they claim it is safe and may feel similar to a piercing, it may make your jaw hurt. The pain will make you not want to eat anything. Also be weary of infection. The staple is placed above the ear canal in the direction of your brain. The side effects may be damaged hearing or brain damage if the procedure fails.

‘Tis nice to know that someone out there approves of activities that would be otherwise asinine. Watch an ameteur trying “ear stapling” for unknown reasons. Maybe he’s trying to get in shape the easy way.

More video in the first link, but it’s got more of an infomercial mood to it. And yes, this is real. No gimmicks [the efficacy and claims of the diet restriction regimen are certainly unproven though].

The Rock Life

The life of a rock is fascinating. Think of salt- sodium chloride. Salt is the only rock that is people willingly eat. It has to get refined to be used safely for human consumption, but it is a rock. It’s life helps us add flavor to food, to retard spoiling of food, and with a little help of iodine drizzled on your salt, you can prevent nasty cretinism and goiter. The rock life is one that can roll without the help of Elvis. Think about the greats like Bob Dylan who pays homage to the stone in his most popular metaphoric song “Like a Rolling Stone.” The Rolling Stones even had to give themselves a sturdy name so they could get some respect in the music biz. Resorting to bold measures, truck companies once longed to be “Like a Rock.”

Rocks are special. They have collectors, movers, sellers, miners, and many other friends. With so few enemies, who wouldn’t want to live the rock life. Sure, you might get thrown, or crushed, but you always have a purpose. You are there being a rock for as long as you can. How legendary is that?

Bizarre Boxing Deaths

It’s the beginning of the 1960s. ABC hosts the fight on national television. It’s a bout for the Welterweight title between Benny “Kid” Paret and Emile Griffith. This is their third fight.

Griffith had insulted by Paret, calling him maricón (meaning “faggot” in Spanish) and taunting that he’s going to get him and his husband. Griffith’s sexual orientation was under fire after alleged activities that could tie him to homosexual tendencies.

During the fight Paret is able to hold his own, until being knocked unconscious on the ropes by a round of blows. There is video of the beating as well as some sports commentary. The famous final scene starts at 2:10 in the video. At least 7 punches are thrown after Paret turns into a ragdoll. Plenty of hits are made before that when is about to lose it.

He never recovers, stays in a coma for 9 days until he dies. After that, Griffith is not charged with anything, but continues fighting. He never goes all out in fear of killing another. In 1992 he is visciously attacked after leaving a gay bar. Today he suffers from pugilistic dementia. Now with the condition, he contradicts himself when asked about his sexual preference, claiming to be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and even none of the above. He has said he has chased men and women, but chooses women over men. Of being at a gay bar, he states…

“I’m not gay! It’s craziness. I go to gay bars to see my friends. What’s the difference? I have my drink and talk to people, same as any bar. Then I finish and go outside. I don’t do anything wrong.”

Sugar Ray Robinson was also mentioned in the youtube video. It’s been said he had a dream that he was going to accidentally kill his next opponent Jimmy Doyle in the ring. A priest and minister had to convince him to fight as he wanted to pull out. He won by knockout, but Doyle hauntingly died from the injuries.

Why I like The Naked Guy

First off, I’m not nudist. I wear clothes in the shower. I dream about clothed people. I am usually a bit uneasy in a bikini (from all the stares my gorgeous body gets). But I give credit to Andrew Martinez who spent plenty of time nude, not as defiance against morality or a quick way to sexual liberation. He just thought of it almost from a sociological standpoint, that clothing as symbolism and requirement of life is an absurdity.

Clothes are useless in the environment except as a tool for class and gender differentiation.

I’ll mention that he might have been mentally ill, but he was a logical in an interview I read.

And now that I think about it, I believe the first Greek Olympic Games were done in the nude. The ancient art world is full of nude art that is still popular today. There is no difference. The hypopracy!

Sweat is not a disease

Ok it’s hot during the day and that’s the sun’s fault. When you are in the sun all day chances are you are gunna be sweating, no? Hygiene is a good thing. You don’t want to smell like a bucket of rotting fish. Celebrity Sweating is a site- although entertaining- seems to have a sponsor driven motive to scold people who perspire naturally to control their body temperature. I’m usually farthest from the Hollywood scene but I would visit this site more than I would for Access Hollywood or Extra or Entertainment Tonight (you know the gossip on your least favorite celebs and famous who-cares).

Sweat on, scent in, step out.

female misogyny: stop hating yourself

It’s not only males who are against women. Women are too. We are not demons. We are the same. If you’ve seen Taxi Driver maybe you know that the young prostitute fools herself into hating what she is capable of. Linguistics is not the perpetrator of sexism. Who gives a genital if “he” or masculine words are dominant? It doesn’t bother me that Nietzsche said “Women are less than shallow.” It bothers me when women think they are less than shallow. Nobody’s opinion matters except your own. In fact if you were to rigidly abide by Nietzsche’s words, you’d be committing what he termed slave morality. Contradictions are a daily part of life and people can’t seem to stop stepping on it.

how do we dress for our destiny for god

Since we are the bride of Christ, men and women and mixed-genderoids (as opposed to the derogatory hermies; gender barely exists anyway) are required by Jewish and Catholic law to wear wedding dresses. The day of destiny calls upon all saints to dress in fine linens (Ex 28:5). We are also the children of God. There is no specific verse, but I’d imagine that wearing diapers and bibs are optional. We are also called God’s sheep. Unless you live in a cool place, wool is not required dress code to enter the pearly gates. In our daily lives, God wishes we wear clothing that is not made from sacrifices to idols. No meat or fleshy t-shirts. No pigeon sandals given up to Tiamat.

The most important thing to think about is that ye not molest and lest thou shalt produceth others to stumbling. In modern English, this translates to not be a hindrance for others to fall. I beseech male and female alike to not wear such attire that will lead anyone to stumble. Contemporary wedding dresses and the like are not suitable for a God-loving follower of Christ Jesus. It is a sin to wear long robes and pants that drag against the floor. This is a clear stumbling block as people will be obstructed from a free flowing pathway to righteousness. Loose threads that could form a trip wire are not to be tolerated. The holiest of all outfits is to tithe your entire wardrobe to the Lord and be stripped of your pride. In heaven, we will have no need for material clothing. When Jesus was born, he had no clothes to call his own. He was wrapped by a blanket of light until he was given an old rag. We will one day shine for the glorious Kingdom. But Jesus does not want us for sunbeams. Sunbeams are one of the weakest lights in the vast universe. There are thousands of brighter stars than the sun anyway. He wants us to use His flashlight in the parking lot of existence. He does not desire that we blind people in the eyes. He hopes that we shine things on the road for people to walk upon.

Like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we should be nude and bare. People should not have an urgency to conceal the bodily gift God has given. Hiding behind leaves is a sign of sinful behavior. Before the first Man and Woman disobeyed, they were pure in organic form. We are destined to be that way as soon as we commit our earthly life to God and shed our sins that we try to hide with clothing.