Nirvana is something I’ll never reach. Does anyone really reach it? I don’t think you can grab it. It comes when it pleases and it seems to keep its distance from me. It gets on my nerves that I don’t try to calm myself down to appreciate everything. I need friends who understand me. Having 100 friends does nothing for me. I’m only close to two of my best friends. I want to go to India and live under the trees. And understand. I can’t really sum up they way I feel today. It’s like addition doesn’t add up. Or it’s just complex me.